I moved to London three months ago. And ever since, I’ve been complaining about the lack of spicy food in this place. Last friday, Joao, Mat, and I went to Noodle King: a good place by any standards. I ordered the hottest thing on the menu; it even had two chillies next to it’s name. I trusted the chillies. Back in India, I’d never order anything with two chillies next to it’s name.

But sadly, I was to be disappointed once again.

Joao then mentioned that there’s this place in Hoxton Square that goes by the name of Red Dog Saloon that had a hot wings challenge: six extremely spicy chicken wings to be devoured in 10 minutes. And that is to be followed by a five-minute afterburn–no water, no food, and no getting up from the chair either.

This sounded like something I’d want to do. I mean if the naga-viper-chilli-sauce laced wings wouldn’t do it, I’d probably have to fly back to India to get my fix.

Honestly, though, since Wednesday I’d been having second thoughts about the whole thing. I read a little bit more about the challenge and it turns out that the thing is freaking hot–naga viper chili tips the Scoville scale at 1,328,118 SHU (Scoville Heat Units). People have been known to get terrible stomach cramps after eating those damned wings from hell. Some of them have even been hospitalized after.

But there was no backing down now. Eternaly glory awaited all those who conquered this indomitable enemy.

So, with the spirit of Adam Richman guiding me on, and the promise of a free t-shirt, we walked to the Red Dog Saloon today afternoon. It was snowing and I was thinking how much better it’d feel to douse my tongue in once the challenge was done.

As was customary, I was briefed on the rules of the challenge and asked to sign a medical waiver by a waiter who looked as if he was really concerned about my well being. And the wings were put forth in front of me. Joao had a whiff of the concoction and immediately proclaimed that this was a bad idea–he’d not even sit on the same table as those wings, let alone eat or touch them. Piotr had a smear of the sauce with his chicken and said that if I was unable to make it out of the restaraunt today, he’d happily have my laptop. Blai too made the mistake of sampling the sauce, which had him reaching for his coke almost immediately.

I started.

I devoured the wings in 5 minute. Although that wasn’t the fastest time, it was still fast enough. The wings themselves were very good. Nicely flavored and spicy. But I’ve had pizzas in India that are spicier. It was the afterburn that tested me. I wanted to reach for the water or the onion rings desperately. But without enduring the five-minute afterburn, the challenge would be deemed incomplete. So I waited what felt like the longest five minutes of my life.

And after the wait, milk had never tasted better. I gulped down the milkshake in huge dollops. My face was all right. My throat wasn’t on fire either. And I wasn’t sweating like an Amazonian rain forest. What had happened though is my stomach had started to reply. I felt an onset of sever cramps. No matter what I did, they refused to subside. I kept writhing thinking that that’d help the pain somehow. But it didn’t. It was a good six hours before the cramps finally stopped.

But was it worth it all? Isn’t a free t-shirt always :-)